I would never bring a kid to a comedy show myself, but I have noticed that I can't stop other people from… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
The more women sit down and write something in a woman's voice for a woman, they more you'll see women in comedy… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
My style can't be held within a pixel medium. Like, it needs to be performed in a living, breathing space. People need… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I think it's great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
It's not hard to be a woman in comedy as long as you're also a writer. You have to create your opportunity. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I used to go to open mics in New York when I was starting out, and it was mostly just people who wanted an… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I don't enjoy reality television at all. I have to say that I get it, though. I watch some of it, and I understand… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
You go from nobody looking at you to people taking second looks. I remember really loving it - and then feeling so guilty for… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move. — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
