Comedy Quotes by Kristen Schaal

9 Comedy quotes by Kristen Schaal

Kristen Schaal’s quirky style shines through off‑beat jokes that feel delightfully unexpected. In this collection of nine quotes you’ll experience her whimsical, energetic comedic flair.

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Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

Kristen Schaal

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It's not hard to be a woman in comedy as long as you're also a writer. You have to create your opportunity.

Kristen Schaal

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As you can see, I speak many languages, including the language of sex.

Kristen Schaal

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My style can't be held within a pixel medium. Like, it needs to be performed in a living, breathing space. People need…

Kristen Schaal

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The more women sit down and write something in a woman's voice for a woman, they more you'll see women in comedy…

Kristen Schaal

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Bad improv happens with people who are inexperienced with each other and don't know the craft that well. But bad stand-up is…

Kristen Schaal

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I never really saw myself as a standup comedian. I always just thought of myself as someone who used the eight minutes…

Kristen Schaal

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I would never bring a kid to a comedy show myself, but I have noticed that I can't stop other people from…

Kristen Schaal

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I think it's great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and…

Kristen Schaal

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More by Kristen Schaal

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

Kristen Schaal

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I used to go to open mics in New York when I was starting out, and it was mostly just people who wanted an…

Kristen Schaal

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I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.

Kristen Schaal

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I definitely had a Paul Rudd crush. He's great.

Kristen Schaal

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I don't enjoy reality television at all. I have to say that I get it, though. I watch some of it, and I understand…

Kristen Schaal

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'Rock of Love' with Bret Michaels was fun. He's a lovable guy.

Kristen Schaal

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I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.

Kristen Schaal

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If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.

Kristen Schaal

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Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.

Kristen Schaal

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The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to…

Kristen Schaal

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You go from nobody looking at you to people taking second looks. I remember really loving it - and then feeling so guilty for…

Kristen Schaal

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1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.

Kristen Schaal

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I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.

Kristen Schaal

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He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in…

Kristen Schaal

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I probably shouldn't say this about all animals, but at least the farm animals that I've hung out with, and even when I go…

Kristen Schaal

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