Comedy Quotes by Jackie Mason

9 Comedy quotes by Jackie Mason

Jackie Mason’s comedy carries a classic, sharp‑tongued edge, delivering lines that cut with both humor and wisdom. This set of nine quotes reflects his seasoned perspective on life.

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My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.

Jackie Mason

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A Jew never laughs without looking at his wife for approval.

Jackie Mason

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I've found that my humor goes over big in London.

Jackie Mason

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I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know…

Jackie Mason

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I knew nothing about professional comedians when I became a comedian. I was a rabbi. So I had no professional comedians to…

Jackie Mason

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I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's…

Jackie Mason

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Every comedian feels out an audience. As you're telling jokes, if they're not laughing at this, you change the subject.

Jackie Mason

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I am excited about getting back to what I do best and what my audience likes best, I am writing new jokes…

Jackie Mason

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The key is that I'm always relevant. Some of these comedians have nothing to say. They don't have any ideas so it's…

Jackie Mason

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More by Jackie Mason

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

Jackie Mason

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The key is that I'm always relevant. Some of these comedians have nothing to say. They don't have any ideas so it's "F" this…

Jackie Mason

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Predictions are preposterous.

Jackie Mason

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I didn't think it was fair to pretend to give of myself when I was so selfishly consumed with my own drives.

Jackie Mason

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Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares.

Jackie Mason

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Even the Republican Party doesn't have the legs to challenge Hillary Clinton.

Jackie Mason

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Did you know that the Jews invented sushi? That's right - two Jews bought a restaurant with no kitchen.

Jackie Mason

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My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and…

Jackie Mason

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I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why!

Jackie Mason

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The Clintons represent the highest level of corruption, but no one has the courage to mention it. Instead they talk about Rudy Giuliani. Over…

Jackie Mason

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I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.

Jackie Mason

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Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . .…

Jackie Mason

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Jews are the best dressers in the world. They buy the best clothes, the best homes, the best cars. The best of everything. The…

Jackie Mason

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I'm crazy about the fact that the Jewish people should survive because they have so much to contribute and so many values to contribute…

Jackie Mason

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When most people return from Europe, they tell tales of all the sites they saw, the shopping, the entertainment, etc. Jews, on the other…

Jackie Mason

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