I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why! — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
I have a great identification with Judaism as a religion and as a culture, and all the values that created such a… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
Jews are the best dressers in the world. They buy the best clothes, the best homes, the best cars. The best of… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
I didn't emphasize my Jewishness because I wanted to. I just happen to have been raised in a family where everybody happened… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
Everybody knows we're entitled to one Jerusalem. History reveals very simply that this is our land from the days of the Bible. — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
I'm crazy about the fact that the Jewish people should survive because they have so much to contribute and so many values… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
It is easy to tell the difference between Jews and Gentiles. After the show, all the gentiles are saying 'Have a drink?… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one? — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
The key is that I'm always relevant. Some of these comedians have nothing to say. They don't have any ideas so it's "F" this… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
I didn't think it was fair to pretend to give of myself when I was so selfishly consumed with my own drives. — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton's life has been filled with corruption but nobody cares. — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
Even the Republican Party doesn't have the legs to challenge Hillary Clinton. — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
Did you know that the Jews invented sushi? That's right - two Jews bought a restaurant with no kitchen. — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
I've got another friend who is half-German and half-Polish. He hates Jews but can't remember why! — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
The Clintons represent the highest level of corruption, but no one has the courage to mention it. Instead they talk about Rudy Giuliani. Over… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to. — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . .… — Jackie Mason Copy Share Image
