Skip to content

Comedy Quotes by Fred Allen

8 Comedy quotes by Fred Allen

All Comedy quotes Fred Allen’s page

Fred Allen’s eight jokes capture his classic, timeless wit, providing a brief, enjoyable read.

Rate this collection: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. All that…

Image

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with…

Image

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.

Image

There are two kinds of jokes - funny jokes and Jack Benny jokes.

Image

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is the echo of forgotten laughter.

Image

“All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.”

Image

A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.

Image

It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.

Image

Other authors on Comedy

More by Fred Allen

“I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a…

Image

“(Faces are all important. Without faces it would be impossible to identify our friends. If we had to recognize people by their bodies, we…

Image

If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.

Image

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.

Image

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen

Image

My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.

Image

Hollywood is a great place if you're an orange.

Image

Everywhere outside New York City is Bridgeport, Connecticut.

Image

I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help…

Image

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose.

Image

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

Image

When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. All that the comedian…

Image

He's so small, he's a waste of skin.

Image

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make…

Image

My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get, except the blinding headaches.

Image