I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
“I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
“(Faces are all important. Without faces it would be impossible to identify our friends. If we had to recognize people by their bodies, we… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. All that the comedian… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
