Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
Father Time is the make-up man responsible for the physical changes that determine the parts the average actor is to play. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
Cocktail party: A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time. The man who remains after… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
The average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
“I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
“(Faces are all important. Without faces it would be impossible to identify our friends. If we had to recognize people by their bodies, we… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
He writes so well he makes me feel like putting my quill back in my goose. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year. — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
When a radio comedian's program is finally finished it slinks down Memory Lane into the limbo of yesteryear's happy hours. All that the comedian… — Fred Allen Copy Share Image
