Comedy Quotes by Christian Finnegan

Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter.

— Christian Finnegan

If you purchased the latest Joss Stone CD, what you're saying is that you're an employee of VH1.

— Christian Finnegan

I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.

— Christian Finnegan

If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself to relax…

— Christian Finnegan

Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money.

— Christian Finnegan

If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda.

— Christian Finnegan

Basically, I got into stand-up because I'm too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer.

— Christian Finnegan

Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful.

— Christian Finnegan

I had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless…

— Christian Finnegan

It's my genius plan of avoiding any career momentum whatsoever. Definitely the pop-culture thing is something I've avoided in my act. It's just too…

— Christian Finnegan

The thing is, I hate political comedy. I personally loathe it.

— Christian Finnegan

I really respect peple who try. People who say, No, I'm actually going to do the best I can. That said, you want to…

— Christian Finnegan

I certainly do believe that a lot of comedy comes from awkwardness and embarrassment - pointing out the ways things are uncomfortable. Definitely the…

— Christian Finnegan

Relationships are a lot like yard sales. They look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but eventually you realize it's just a…

— Christian Finnegan

I was told by a physician to avoid any line of work where people need to, um, depend on me for anything.

— Christian Finnegan