If you purchased the latest Joss Stone CD, what you're saying is that you're an employee of VH1. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
Do you guys remember that woman who disappeared a few years ago, Chandra Levy? Do you remember her? I found this fascinating.… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
I hope that if I ever disappear, people don't look for me based on the last websites I visited. Kind of an… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
There are two kinds of intelligence in this world. People who are Monopoly smart and people who are Trivial Pursuit smart... If… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
What is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
If think the pig was terrified because he was fully aware that after segment he was going to be fed to Al… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
Basically Britney Spears' video is like a three an a half minute version of Glitter. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
If you purchased the latest Joss Stone CD, what you're saying is that you're an employee of VH1. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
If I could go back and talk to the me who was just starting to do comedy, I would have told myself to relax… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
Basically, I got into stand-up because I'm too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful. — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
I had no choice but to make me as a comedian, because I am not particularly gifted with a lot of marketable skills. Unless… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
It's my genius plan of avoiding any career momentum whatsoever. Definitely the pop-culture thing is something I've avoided in my act. It's just too… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
I really respect peple who try. People who say, No, I'm actually going to do the best I can. That said, you want to… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
