OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“We must stop chasing dollars, stop lying, stop cheating, stop ignoring art, literature and all the refining agencies and instrumentalities of civilization.” — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
