You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
GNOSTICS, n. A sect of philosophers who tried to engineer a fusion between the early Christians and the Platonists. The former would… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
