HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
“But as records of courts of justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach and otherwise… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind.… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Romans the censor was an inspector… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
TENACITY, n. A certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
JOSS-STICKS- Small sticks burned by the Chinese in their pagan tomfoolery, in imitation of certain sacred rites of our holy religion. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
SARCOPHAGUS, n. Among the Greeks a coffin which being made of a certain kind of carnivorous stone, had the peculiar property of… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
