It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Did the Warwickshire militia, who were chiefly artisans, teach the Irish to drink beer, or did they learn from the Irish how… — Maria Edgeworth Copy Share Image
“What kind of heart does one have to have in order to be able to get rid of these, without regret, as… — Francesca Marciano Copy Share Image
When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin.… — J. P. Donleavy Copy Share Image
A teenage taste of beer aside, Mitt Romney does not consume alcohol. Which begs the question, will total abstention put his candidacy,… — Martin Bashir Copy Share Image
Be always decent and right in your home town; and when you're on the road, never take more than four glasses of… — O. Henry Copy Share Image
Uh oh, it's beer o'clock, I think I'm sober. How about we think this over, over a can of King Cobra? — Daniel Dumile Copy Share Image
I would be in Italy working on a film, longing for something simple - like, God, I would just kill to be… — Chris O'Donnell Copy Share Image
Golf is a terrible, hopeless addiction, it seems: it makes its devotees willing to trudge miles in any manner of weather, lugging… — Mike Seabrook Copy Share Image
I look at road marathons as a totally different sport. Those guys are stupid fast. It is unbelievable. I might be a… — Karl Meltzer Copy Share Image
“Bburke used to, whenever he went to the city to catch a Yankees game, throw his money around to every homeless man… — A.J. Smith Copy Share Image
All my friends were in college when I was making 'Superbad.' We were drinking beer and watching movies and eating pizza. It… — Jonah Hill Copy Share Image
“When you visualized the future and conjured up a world where urban life had spread everywhere and man had achieved his long-desired… — Karl Ove Knausgård Copy Share Image
“You’re taking a drink from a stranger, dude.” I say. “I could be a mad scientist and put something inside your root… — Rea Lidde Copy Share Image
Very intense first summer out, to be 18 years old and never having gone on a date, never having smoked a cigarette,… — Peter Jurasik Copy Share Image
Walgreens, Rite Aid, CVS and Wal-Mart have all figured out the evolution of life and they grabbed all the products that are… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Sometimes, I think the only art left for us is slowly peeling the label off a beer bottle while somebody tells you… — Lynda Barry Copy Share Image
“Beer has that Olympic medal color,” Rot replied, “but does it have a winning taste? I’d hardly call silver a champion flavor.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
I've always just wanted to make people feel something with my music - whether it makes you want to laugh, cry or… — Lainey Wilson Copy Share Image
Life's too short to spend all the time in the gym. I just like to have a few beers and enjoy myself… — Ian Woosnam Copy Share Image
When we show up in a city, we ask, 'Where's the best restaurant? What's the best beer?' You start doing that, and… — Isaac Hanson Copy Share Image
I think 75% of sports fans just want sports. They want to sit down on their couch... pop open a beer, and… — Clay Travis Copy Share Image
It was Saturday late, have you seen my mates, can you tell me when the boys get here? Well, it's seven o'clock… — Elton John Copy Share Image
“Nonsense. This is my first beer. Ah only ever moon people sober. Y’ never know what horrible things might happen if’n ya… — Elliott Kay Copy Share Image
Wishing you barrels of Beer. Wishing you pots of Gold. Wishing you all good luck. Happy St.Patrick's Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The world would be a better place if people stopped voting for folksy candidates they could have a beer with and started… — Marcus Sakey Copy Share Image
I like to go dancing, have a few beers. I like being alone, too. I have days where it's 'God, get me… — Justine Bateman Copy Share Image
And it occurs to me that if I were aboard a rowboat floating in the middle of all the beer I've drunk… — Al Purdy Copy Share Image
“If you ever start thinking that any of them are developmentally more mature than a high school boy, just remember they named… — Kaya McLaren Copy Share Image
Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around… — Jeff Cesario Copy Share Image
Subtract out the impact and the fall is all you get. So here's two beers to remember why and three more to… — Ani DiFranco Copy Share Image
In Barbados, you have a beer with your food at 8 A.M. on a Saturday morning and basically go on a pub… — Andi Oliver Copy Share Image
I found that a couple of bottles of beer would give me a lift, but the third bottle would sober me up. — Ethel Waters Copy Share Image
I had my own youth. I had fun playing in the amateurs, going out with my friends on the weekend, drinking a… — Jaap Stam Copy Share Image
Oh, this beer here is cold, cold and hop-bitter, no point coming up for air, gulp, till it's all--hahhhh. — Thomas Pynchon Copy Share Image
Marijuana is like Coors beer. If you could buy the damn stuff at a Georgia filling station, youd decide you wouldnt want… — Billy Carter Copy Share Image
People come home from work. They want to pop a beer. They want to find out who won a game. And next… — Clay Travis Copy Share Image
My beer has been universally well-liked beyond my most sanguine expectations. Cannot serve half my customers, and they are increasing every day. — John Molson Copy Share Image
Beer. It always seems like such a good idea at the time, doesn't it? What's worse is beer seems like an even… — Steven Hall Copy Share Image
In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
