Bartender Quotes · Page 2

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

— Rodney Dangerfield

“When you’re a bartender you can listen to everyone’s dirt without having to be personally involved.”

— Tarryn Fisher

A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a 6 pack of beer under the other.…

— Author Name

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

— W. C. Fields

Hell, if I didn't do stunts, I'd have had to be a bartender, or something else that didn't pay well.

— Hal Needham

Every time I read a Jane Austen novel, I feel like a bartender at the gates of heaven.

— Mark Twain

I feel so fortunate and lucky I don't have to be a waitress or a bartender or a personal trainer.

— Abbie Cobb

.. the guitar is just a wonderful instrument. It's everything: a bartender, a psychiatrist, a housewife. It's everything, but it's elusive

— Les Paul

“The only people who ask questions like ‘Did he want to be something besides a bartender?’ are people who can become whatever…

— Dennis Lehane

I worked at Starbucks, I was a waiter, a bartender and a valet, sometimes working 2 to 3 jobs at a time…

— Andrea Hall

I remember back in Detroit, I used to go to the Apex Bar every night after I got off work. The bartender…

— John Lee Hooker

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months…

— Al McGuire

This guitar is such a pal. It's a psychiatrist. It's a doggone bartender. It's a housewife. This guy is everything. Whenever I…

— Les Paul

From the end of the bar, the bartender threw a sidelong look at him, so Clarence pulled out a broken Bluetooth headset…

— Neal Shusterman

I think ereoyvne should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months…

— Aastha

“A lawyer, a politician, and a prostitute walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.”…

— Jarod Kintz

“A double shot of Laphroaig twenty-five-year-old, neat, please. And ask the bartender for a small shot glass of spring water, non-sparkling,” Gabriel…

— Sylvain Reynard

The American dream is about achieving happiness. When you become a fire fighter, a police officer or a teacher or a nurse,…

— Marco Rubio

Lend's dad, two werewolves, and a vampire. It was like the setup to a bad joke or something. A doctor, two werewolves,…

— Kiersten White

Both of my parents were born into poor families on the island of Cuba. They came to America because it was the…

— Marco Rubio

An efficient bartenders first aim should be to please his customers, paying particular attention to meet the individual wishes of those whose…

— Jerry Thomas

I've had a lot of glamour come my way in the last 10 years - you know, movie stars and mansions and…

— Anonymous

I think they [TV productions] were just kind of drying up. I'd done a couple of episodes, but nothing was happening. So…

— Eric McCormack

The bartenders are the regular band of Jack, and the heavenly drummer who looks up to the sky with blue eyes, with…

— Jack Kerouac

You're going to be embarrassed when you realize I'm Wilmer Valderama. -Ben Stone [to bartender]

— Knocked Up (The Movie

I was an amazing bartender and a great waiter. I think, in a way, that was my acting school.

— Nick Frost

By the time a bartender knows what drink a man will have before he orders, there is little else about him worth…

— Don Marquis

A cocktail can be made by the bartender. But the cocktail also can be made by the chef.

— Anonymous

Bless my soul,” whispered the old bartender, “Harry Potter . . . what an honor.

— Anonymous

“Bartender! Vring me some viskey with chincher ale on de side & don't be stingy, baby. (Garbo's first words in a talking picture)”

— Greta Garbo

A conservative, a liberal, and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hi, Mitt.'

— Foster Friess

A good writer is not, per se, a good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good…

— Jim Bishop

Bartender: You know, times are changing. Ladies can do stuff now and you're going to learn how to deal with it. Ron…

— Anchorman

Placing a wedge of lime in the neck of a Corona bottle helps sell those beers. And where did that ritual come…

— Martin Lindstrom

Women, you overheated dipsomaniacs, never passing up a chance to wangle a drink, a great boon to bartenders but a bane to…

— Aristophanes

There's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I pour whiskey on him and inhale cigarette smoke and…

— Charles Bukowski

I feel lucky. I do love it, mostly. At college I had it in my heart that I wanted to be a…

— Lauren Groff

“I was not a face. I was tired of being called pretty. I was tired of people seeing my potential. I could…

— Tarryn Fisher

“There was Bartender Boy, but he wouldn't get off until well after 2 A.M. I was a nervous wreck already, so if…

— Cora Carmack

If you have to signal a bartender to get a drink, then they're not looking at you, which is their problem. They're…

— Jon Taffer