Bartender Quote by Author Name

“TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between”

— Various

“Ha! Listen, this guy walks into a bar, with a shopping bag, right? He sits down, puts the bag on the bar. Something in…

— Craig Alanson

Tobin," Mom said disapprovingly. She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer surgeon to…

— John Green

“E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors.”

— Various

“Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, "You guys better not start anything in here!”

— Various

It's true though: time moves in its own special way in the middle of the night," the bartender says, loudly striking a book match…

— Haruki Murakami

“A lawyer, a politician, and a prostitute walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” And I’d…

— Jarod Kintz

“She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer surgeon to walk into the examination…

— John Green

“beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not" and poof! he vanishes." ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦ E-flat walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors."…

— Various

“says, "Bartender, I'd like a gin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and tonic." And the bartender says, "Sure, but what's with the big”

— Various

A conservative, a liberal, and a moderate walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hi, Mitt.'

— Foster Friess

Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is a duck."…

— Rodney Dangerfield