I ink, therefore I ham.

“I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a…

— Fred Allen

“Writing is turning life's worst moments into money.”

— J.P. Donleavy

“Being a writer is 1% inspiration, 50% perspiration and 49% explaining you're not a millionaire like J.K.Rowling.”

— Gabrielle Tozer

“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”

— Markus Herz

“ “Do Southerners laugh at different things than Northerners do? Yes, I say--Northerners.” Roy Blount, Jr., Roy Blount’s Book of Southern Humor”

— Deborah Ford

“I only have two words to say More or Less”

— TimBur

If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

— Kristen Schaal

“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once,…

— Nora Ephron

In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but…

— Luke Evans

“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which…

— Kate Quinn

“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly.…

— S.K. Munt

In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.

— Rhoda Janzen

Joking about violence is not funny.

— Perez Hilton

When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions…

— Kelli O'Hara

'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy.

— Shane Dawson