I found panties in the chimney, and they’re not mine. They…

“The roof of my mouth is not a good place to put in a new chimney. Put it behind my asshole.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Global warming is so serious that I’d advise you to not wear panties.”

— Jarod Kintz

“The important issues, once you’ve taken them on, you can’t take them off. What do you think they are, panties?”

— Jarod Kintz

“Much to my delight, I found her panties to be full of mashed potatoes—but I had to supply all the gravy.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I don’t need a dress, I need an address. And some panties.”

— Jarod Kintz

One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever come to sit by it. Passersby see only a wisp…

— Vincent Van Gogh

“Choked Chimney I am a chimney which has been smoked. Out of breath and out of warmth. My air carries murky whispers and inky…

— Iqra Iqbal

Golden lads and girls all must as chimney sweepers come to dust.

— William Shakespeare

Where you thinke there is bacon, there is no Chimney.

— George Herbert

There's no way the new chimney will fall down, Lu. Not with you in charge. It wouldn't dare.

— Angie Sage

A seventeenth-century house can be recognized by its steep roof, massive central chimney and utter porchlessness. Some of those houses have a second-story overhang,…

— John Updike

“I am a chimney which has been smoked. Out of breath and out of warmth. My air carries murky whispers and inky phantoms. Loneliness…

— Iqra Iqbal

“The whole concept of some stranger making his way down our chimney - not that we had one - suggested burglary more readily than…

— Thomm Quackenbush

I dont have to look to see. Today its all so clear. Chimney tops start to glow and thats when I will disappear...

— London Elektricity

I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.

— Tim Vine