The royal hound's belly demands rubbing. Step lively, humans, neglect me not." ~Oberon — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“But there was no going back to that idyllic time when only one god wanted to kill me.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Hopefully next time I won't be recovering from an assassination attempt, and then I'll do better.” — Kevin Hearne Assassination Copy Share Image
“That wasn't English she was speaking: it was the language of diplomacy.” — Kevin Hearne Diplomacy Copy Share Image
“Silly cop, I don't need your help; I have a werewolf on retainer.” — Kevin Hearne Humor Copy Share Image
“I hope that if I ever travel two thousand years into the future, there will still be bacon.” — Kevin Hearne Bacon Copy Share Image
“We should make a pit trap with spikes in the bottom. You make the pit and I’ll make the spikes.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“ You're tell me those are gnomes pretending to be dwarfs pretending to be elves? Are you trying to play Six Degrees… — Kevin Hearne Elves Copy Share Image
“When in doubt, know your way out, I always say.” “I thought you always said, ‘When in doubt, blame the dark elves.’ ”… — Kevin Hearne Doubt Copy Share Image
“Oberon "Holy revelations Druidman! She's on to us!" Atticus "Gods below, I think you're right! Quick, to the Geekmobile!” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
She didn't go all fangirl on anyone, but I suspect that's only because none of them bore the slightest resemblance to Nathan… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Two days ago she watched me kill someone, and she offered me her backyard as a place to hide the body.” “Truly?”… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I think he got your goat, Atticus! And I've been meaning to ask you about the expression. When people get your goat,… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
I tend to vacillate between belief systems. Right now I'm kind of checking out the whole buffet, you know, and maybe in… — Kevin Hearne Belief Copy Share Image
“Failure is rarely a conscious decision and it’s often out of our control, determined by things like physics and circumstance and other… — Kevin Hearne Conscious decision Copy Share Image
For me, the times I always regret are missed opportunities to say farewell to good people, to wish them long life and… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune!" I cried with all the venom of Charlton Heston. Oberon asked. "It's a Shakespearean word for whore." <"Cool word! It rhymes with trumpet. And pump it. Why didn't the Black Eyed Peas use it in their song? Aren't rappers always looking for cool new rhymes? They should kick it old school with the Bard.>” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“You can be told that reading Victor Hugo will sap your will to live, but you can’t understand what that means until… — Kevin Hearne Writer Copy Share Image
“He could focus my attention on how perfectly sublime life can be at times. Such moments are ephemeral, and without his guidance… — Kevin Hearne Focus Copy Share Image
I had an ASU student looking for it in my shop last week, and he defined the Bacchants for me as 'those… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“The color palette is confined to that of a Gustave Dore' engraving, greys and blacks, and subtle shadings of these rendered in… — Kevin Hearne Color Copy Share Image
“That wasn't so bad. She said, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin. What was it? That was a Rocky Mountain oyster,… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“I pushed myself forward and rose cautiously to my feet. A draft from the aft signaled that my dressing gown was open,… — Kevin Hearne Baked goods Copy Share Image
“But this is going to be difficult enough without running my words through a filter of illiteracy.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Don’t hate the Meat Lord, Atticus. Just offer him steak sauce and words of praise.” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Well, look at the bright side, Granuaile. Emo Douche Bags would be a great band name.” ” — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“In the pattern of the curdling cheese she divined the future, the complex patterns revealing truth to her far more clearly than… — Kevin Hearne Time Copy Share Image
“the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely small worlds, and some live in… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“It sounds like these guys would be filed under Assholes Who Do Evil Shit in My Name.” “Jesus. I mean, wow. That’s… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Cool. Can we watch one last movie first?" "All right, buddy. What'll it be?" "I think The Boondock Saints, because the Irish… — Kevin Hearne Film Copy Share Image
“Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune!" I cried with all the venom of Charlton Heston. Oberon asked. "It's a Shakespearean word for whore." ” — kevin hearne Copy Share Image
“That’s it,” Flanagan said, his thick hands gripping the bar and his eyes wide. “I’m getting back on the wagon and I’m… — Kevin Hearne Humor Copy Share Image
“I think life is like a ham bone if you live it right. You enjoy it and then you bury it when… — Kevin Hearne Life Copy Share Image
“How can I be assured the apple you bring me is Idunn's? Well, it'll be golden, for one thing, and after you… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“...underneath their human guises, they looked like the typical faery - that is, no wings, scantily clad and kind of man-pretty like… — Kevin Hearne Druid Copy Share Image
It’s best not to experiment on yourself. Bacon practically froze himself to death in one of his experiments and died of pneumonia.”… — Kevin Hearne Bacon Copy Share Image
“Helgarson won’t tell me, but it must have been bad. His fangs pop out if you just say ‘Thor’ aloud, and he… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“You know how people are always threatenin' to shove this or that up someone's ass, but they never really do it? Well,… — Kevin Hearne Fallen angel Copy Share Image
