“When you're in the middle of a killing field and the fucking Chooser of the Slain tells you to do something, you… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“At that point Daddy took them to a cemetery and said, “Here, kids—what you need is a nice corpse snack. Clotted blood!… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Morrigan visited me in my dreams. It tore me away from a nightmare where I was trying to teach high school science… — Kevin Hearne Dreams Copy Share Image
“If it pleases me, then it is good and I want more; If it displeases me, then it must be destroyed as… — Kevin Hearne Death Copy Share Image
“I think "The Boondock Saints" , because the Irish guys win. Plus the cat ends badly. It affirms my worldview and I… — Kevin Hearne Irish Copy Share Image
“If only someone else hadn’t done that. I hoped she would learn sooner, rather than later, that you can’t unchoose anyone’s choices,… — Kevin Hearne Choices Copy Share Image
The point is, Mrs. MacDonagh, that the universe is exactly the size that your soul can encompass. Some people live in extremely… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“When Kevin Costner asks his dad at the end if he’d like to have a catch, I just completely lose my shit.… — Kevin Hearne Dad Copy Share Image
“He could focus my attention on how perfectly sublime life can be at times. Such moments are ephemeral, and without his guidance… — Kevin Hearne Focus Copy Share Image
I had an ASU student looking for it in my shop last week, and he defined the Bacchants for me as 'those… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“The color palette is confined to that of a Gustave Dore' engraving, greys and blacks, and subtle shadings of these rendered in… — Kevin Hearne Color Copy Share Image
Not everyone can be bribed with meat, Oberon." "They Can't? Oh! you mean they're vegetarian." "No, they eat meat. It just doesn't… — Kevin Hearne Decision Copy Share Image
Let me tell you, people go on and on about what a great idea electricity was, but I'm going to put toilet… — Kevin Hearne Electricity Copy Share Image
“That's the famous vampire Helgarson you're riding with, isn't it? Is he fond of lattes?" "I don't know." I looked over at… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“ Oberon said from behind the counter. I busied myself making Emily's tea and spoke to him through our link. 'Yes, well,… — Kevin Hearne High road Copy Share Image
“And I knew too well the loneliness that clamps around one’s heart when loved ones have passed on before. To have that… — Kevin Hearne Companionship Copy Share Image
“ Oberon said as we walked inside. You don’t offer werewolves treats if you want to keep all your appendages. They think… — Kevin Hearne Forgiveness Copy Share Image
“Falling in love is like that: you always feel like a dumbass at some point, even if you know it‘s coming —… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Oberon "one day Atticus was amazed to discover that when Jupiter said "As you wish," what he really meant was "I love… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
They'll have to bring in Mulder an' Scully, because there ain't no CSI on the planet that'll ever be able to explain… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“The mourning of a loved one never ends with a funeral. It comes back every so often, like a stage performer eager… — Kevin Hearne Curtain call Copy Share Image
But now that she was my apprentice, every such thought caused a guilty twitch in my neck, as if someone had dropped… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“My father taught me that words shape people as the hammer shapes iron. Leaders bend religions to their purposes, and religions in… — Kevin Hearne Parenting Copy Share Image
“I gladly shucked off my wet, muddy jeans and put on the new pair. I noticed she hadn't bought me any underwear;… — Kevin Hearne Cowboy hat Copy Share Image
-“Say no more,” Leif interrupted. “I understand. I will simply have to kill them all myself.” -"There he goes again. I’m telling… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Awesome! I'd just bullied Jesus into doing a shot with me. Nobody would ever believe it, but I didn't care. We ordered… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Hence the reason I encourage you to believe what you wish. The heaven of teh Pastafarians is supposed to have beer volcanoes,… — Kevin Hearne Beer Copy Share Image
“Vestigial remnants of hunter behavior manifests itself as douchebaggery in males when confronted with the emasculating role of modern man, where they… — Kevin Hearne Alpha-males Copy Share Image
How would you take care of it?” I asked. He shrugged. “I know some ghouls. I make a couple calls, the guys… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“Of course, I didn’t choose to fail. Failure is rarely a conscious decision and it’s often out of our control, determined by… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
Oh noes, kitteh haz major angriez!” I said. I turned around to share a laugh with my companions and found them glaring… — Kevin Hearne Companion Copy Share Image
Wooo!’ he said, slamming his shot glass down and coughing a bit. ‘That’s good stuff.’ I agreed heartily. ‘Shall we do another… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
The Morrigan’s ideas of sport and mine varied widely. As a Chooser of the Slain, she tends to enjoy nothing so much… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“What if one of your customers hears us talking about covers and such things?" "We're in the perfect place to talk of… — Kevin Hearne Witches Copy Share Image
“You're trying to be cool now , Leif? Seriously?" "I am the shit, home slice, straight up," he replied. "No. I mean,… — Kevin Hearne Dinner party Copy Share Image
“ What's silly is paying five bucks for hot milk and flavored syrup! But now I see what's really been going on… — Kevin Hearne Bad hair Copy Share Image
“That would be me,” I said. “Good afternoon, gentlemen. Is this a joke?” “I beg your pardon?” the older fellow inquired politely,… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“He thought in silence before answering. “I don’t think loneliness is a thing that can be borne: it’s so heavy and crushing… — Kevin Hearne Loneliness Copy Share Image
I would never behave with so little dignity. Nor would I wish to be confronted in such a manner by anyone else.… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“My neighbor raised a shaking index finger to point at the saguaro. "That moving cactus...and the big bug...and you, you spooky bastard.… — Kevin Hearne Antichrist Copy Share Image
