“I got stood up. I wasn’t mad, because at the time I was in a wheelchair.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Do you know a man better than me?” I asked her. “Yes,” she replied. “Great,” I said, “then run to him. Run… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The only way I’ll ride a horse is if that horse is in a wheelchair, being pushed by a 99-year-old paraplegic.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Last night as I was driving home, I ran over a guy in a wheelchair. But it’s OK—he was already paralyzed.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Faith: a device of the mind, fed by the soul, that functions like crutches to a man in a wheelchair.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a handicap on the golf course like you wouldn’t believe. It’s more than a limp, and less than a wheelchair.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Wheelchairs won’t kill you. And cigarettes won’t paralyze you. Stick a wheelchair in your mouth and smoke it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I started out on a treadmill—and I just did my first marathon. And all while sitting in a wheelchair. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
