“I wasn’t on vacation. I was in the bathroom for an extended length of pee.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m going on vacation, and I’m leaving my clone in charge. I’ll be gone, but I’ll be here.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The final few weeks in a town before you move always feel like vacation, like you’re observing and taking it all in,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
The only problem with politicians taking two week vacations every year is its about 50 weeks too short. — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t think our president is doing a good job, but I think he’s doing a great vacation.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In hospitality, people vacation where you live. And so when I stay home from work it’s like a double vacation.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A book is a vacation for the mind. My books will take you inside my mind, so feel free to make yourself… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Vacation, I go there in my mind. Especially when I’m at work, getting paid for it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
