WIFE, Is in trouble with her roles when her husband finds her a whore in the kitchen and a cook in the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear Twitter, sometimes I need more than 140 characters to describe what's on my mind. Sincerely, everyone. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My superpower is not puking on my lappy when I read your inspirational tweet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I hate it when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Because of Twitter, people use words like Twitterverse, Tweeple, and Twerson. Which makes me want to twoot myself in the face. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I started pooping 10 times a day because it's where I come up with my best tweets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Me: Where have you been all my life? She: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, HAPPY, a union which is in full flower when the husband knows what to remember and his wife understands what to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I follow back everybody for a trial period of 2 weeks. If all your tweets are crappy during that period. I probably… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wear vanilla-scented lotion or perfume. Most girls love that crap, but I can't do it. 'Cause I can't be the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you recall childhood, you may remember that the kids who stuck straws and cigarettes up their noses back then seemed funnier… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton says she's the most qualified because she was married to a president for eight years. Now let me ask you,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
