Sometimes my wife and I like to spice things up in the bedroom & pretend we're a great couple who are still… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Honey, please help me find a match for this sock. What for? Are you going to set it on fire? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Following twitter celebrities is exactly like realizing that the pretty girl talking to you works for playboy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Here is a strategy; Follow someone, they follow you back, you unfollow them. -A douchebag with mental issues on Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girl went away for the weekend, and I didn't masturbate once. I masturbated 21 times. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something which combines the two greatest powers on earth -- war and peace; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WRINKLES: Something other people have, Similar to my character lines. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They always say to treat people the way you want to be treated. So far, I've given 4 handjobs today. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
After 70, a woman is like Tibet: Beautiful, with a mysterious past andthe wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I had a bully as a kid. He was dyslexic, so he used to stick Me Kick signs on my back. Then… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Theres two kinds of women: The kind that get married and have a bunch of kids, and The kind that stay single… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Looking at my last summer pics & seeing how much weight I've gained has inspired me to make a resolution this summer… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, HAPPY, a spouse who is sometimes so because she has the best husband -- more often it is that she makes… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No, leave that bra on. 'Coz I'm gonna fuck your boobies right out of it. is a romantic thing to say right… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
