People with more than 50,000 tweets should officially be declared as Senior Citizens of Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations, you have officially earned the Dumber than a Box of Rocks Award. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Everytime while hanging out with Friends or Family ; I feel like I'm cheating on Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Please show me your boring tweet first so I can copy n edit it making it the most intersting tweet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
While looking for love I sent my pictures to the Lonely Hearts Club. The reply came back, We are not that lonely. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, GOOD, A man who feels in his pockets every time he passes a mailbox — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Maybe there won't be stars, maybe there won't be retweets, but by God there'll be slying! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If two people are arguing & one person says, You know what... Just sit back & enjoy. Trust me that argument is… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Told my mom, I can become the next Hitler if I drop out of school. She laughed hysterically for 2 hours. I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I love helping people getting what they want. Today I overheard a girl saying I'd die for spicy mc burger so I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, A woman who can be labelled intelligent when she sees through her husband -- she's understanding when she sees him through; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just got engaged. My fiancée won't take my name because Lisa Levin sounds awful. So she's just going to remain Lisa… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't need beer to have a good time, I just need it to focus, avoid depression, good tweets, fall asleep, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Two things in life that are difficult to achieve: 1. To plant your idea in someone's head. 2. To plant someone's money… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
