“Most salesmen are no-nonsense guys. But I’m not like them. I’m the #1 nonsense salesman in all of Camelot.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It seems like I never have any time. I should have never stopped being a watch salesman.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I tell you I want to be a door-to-door salesman, don’t knock it. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am a man of action, like a statue of a guy running. In business, when a salesman and a customer race… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll give you money to buy what I’m selling, because I’m a savvy salesman.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a natural salesman. I sold my soul to the devil. I’m so shrewd that I got pennies on the dollar for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m a door-to-door salesman. I sell doors. If I can’t knock on yours, because you don’t have a door to knock on,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I never got to call myself a door-to-door salesman, because, regrettably, I only ever went to one door. But one day I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some people put more thought into what kind of car to buy than what kind of mate to marry. I think that's… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
