“I have a responsibility as a human being to care for animals—including politicians.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a deep respect for shallow pockets. They keep politicians honest. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I find politicians’ speeches moving. Sometimes I don’t even pack up before forever leaving their vicinity.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Politics isn’t dirty. And neither are politicians. No, politicians are filthy.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The only thing politicians serve is their own interest. Public servant has morphed into private serpent.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Birthdays are like politicians. I don’t like any of them, but they still keep coming around.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s always going to be a criminal element in the population. At least as long as people believe they need politicians.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Politicians are like warts on the body of society. And the only thing worse than warts are lawyers and lobbyists. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, I think everybody can agree that politicians are crooks. But I don’t think politicians are… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Can America get back to a point where politicians are honest? Not unless that point is the tip of a sword.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Though my stomach is only the size of a pea, I could eat two politicians’ brains.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
