The blonde cowboy put glue on his six-shooters so he would always stick to his guns. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Being at home with loved ones all week has shown me how much I miss my miserable job. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When money grows on trees, you can bet there's a lot of grafting going on. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's funny how everyday seems the same, yet when you look back a lot has changed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have learned there is little difference in husbands; you might as well keep the first. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If her husband walks in while you're fucking her... ask him to join. You're already fucked anyways... — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
All women are witches, but if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will probably spare you from black… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If youre protective and tall and sweet and cute and smell good and give good hugs then I want to date you — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My Friend dumped his GF last night. To make her feel better, I gave her company in her shower today & BITCH… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I think that a man with a helmet defending his country should make more money than a man with a helmet defending… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A relationship with God is the most important relationship you can have. Trust him and everything will always turn out fine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The blonde was always careful to remove her watch before putting on bug spray because she didn't want it to kill the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When life gives me lemons, I'm like What's the catch? Because in this expensive world no one's just giving away free lemons. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women over 200 pounds with a visible thong should have to register as sex offenders. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed up soul. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When a waitress brings the food, old men look at the food while young men look at the waitress. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't try to please people you'll fail, But you can piss them off and please yourself! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes We ignore the obvious because we get too caught up in being hopeful. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
As the auto mechanic said to the Scoutmaster whose car horn was broken, Beep repaired. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A detective on the drug detail developed seizures. He is a narcoleptic. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
She wanted to sign up as an organ donor, but all she had was a guitar. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you fuck over people who've been nothing but good to you, you create demons for yourself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
