One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
He was saying that the end of the world wasn't an accident; it was a joke. — Holly Black Copy Share Image
It is much easier to write a good Times leading article than a good joke in Punch. — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Nothing reveals a man's character better than the kind of joke at which he takes offense. — Georg C. Lichtenberg Copy Share Image
Ever you miss me, never you cry. For a drop of tear in your eyes, is a day less in my life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Who are you? Why am I here? I want answers now or I want them eventually! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I heard my name." Ash's voice startles me. "You tow better not be making fun of me about this stupid bra Mama's… — Abbi Glines Copy Share Image
Where did mutt become a insult...from mudblood in harry potter since all it means is mix breed so you should walk up… — MrAwesome Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Being mature is when you finally grow enough, to be able to joke about the things that once broke you as a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
First of all, Saddam did not win the war, even though he says he did, I mean, you know, that's a joke… — Norman Schwarzkopf Copy Share Image
What’s the deal with the hair?” Curran tore his gaze from the book and grimaced. “Grows every flare. Can’t help it." We… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punch… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
People think I'll kill you if you make a joke. I compare it to Clint Eastwood. I've only seen Clint Eastwood in… — Ice T Copy Share Image
Husband : Why did you give so much money to the beggar who was pretending to be blind? Wife : Didn't you… — Syntific Copy Share Image
People really do identify with the characters they see on the show, but these days, social media allows you to interact with… — Chris Carmack Copy Share Image
When I was 13 and 14, there were a lot of jokes about my bar mitzvah and my grandparents, and then when… — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
When I first started doing my stand-up act, I played the banjo, did comedy, magic tricks, juggled, read poetry. I stuck it… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Twenty Four hours After United States concluded the Presidential election. The winner Mr Barack Obama is celebrating his victory. The Nigerian President… — Horla Copy Share Image
You like the girl," Alasdair offered. Nassar leveled a heavy gaze at him. "Lillian said you tried to be funny in the… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
Science fiction has its own history, its own legacy of what's been done, what's been superseded, what's so much part of the… — Iain Banks Copy Share Image
The stuff that I'm saying, they're not really traditional, structured jokes. It's not like I'm talking about growing up in Chicago or… — Reggie Watts Copy Share Image
Never laughing too loudly in a restaurant no matter how good the joke. — Paulo Coelho Copy Share Image
If you push your brother down the stairs, he will become your step brother. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I make a joke that I'm the Internet curmudgeon, but 'wary' is a good way to put it. — Bill Keller Copy Share Image
I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem. — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I don't like to argue with females, I'm simply explaining why I'm right… — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
I think it's important to have a good sense of humor and joke around with your kids. That's what I do a… — Stanley Tucci Copy Share Image
Alcohol: Because no good story starts with So this one time I was eating a salad — Persia Copy Share Image
There are a lot of clubs that are like, 'Don't do political jokes because it incites a lot of heckling.' — Michelle Buteau Copy Share Image
My girlfriend told me I'm awful in bed. I don't know how she can tell in 30 seconds. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change. They stay the way they were in the past. — Corey Feldman Copy Share Image
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
On the set I make jokes I can't get too involved, or it turns into sentimental soup. I try to keep it… — Michael Haneke Copy Share Image
People usually say Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, I find it's in big boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
