I knew how to come up with jokes at someone's expense really fast. — Catherine Reitman Copy Share Image
“He with the cleanest clothes isn’t necessarily the cleanest.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Never make love in the backward…For love may be blind,but your neighbours are not! — Simi Ngr Copy Share Image
None of my comedy depended on looks. I never did tons of fat jokes. — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.” — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I started my own foundation. If you aren't familiar with it, it's called 'Febreezing the homeless.' Who would you rather give money… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Baltimore has been a punchline/punching bag for years - I've landed a few blows, to be fair - but those old jokes… — Laura Lippman Copy Share Image
It's funny... you can make fun of AIDS or Haiti, but if you make fun of some starlet in Hollywood's looks? That's… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
It's the nature of cable news that we [TV hosts] do a lot of clipping and quoting of other broadcasts and outlets,… — Chris Hayes Copy Share Image
I love hanging around folks that love to crack jokes and pay their bills lol, and must love Baskin Robbins lol ctfu — Joe Collins Jr Copy Share Image
The people that become the biggest jokes are people who do not change. They stay the way they were in the past.… — Corey Feldman Copy Share Image
The act of sex, gratifying as it may be, is God's joke on humanity. It is man's last desperate stand at superintendency. — Bette Davis Copy Share Image
I think any decent comedy worth its salt has to have heart, otherwise it's just a bunch of jokes. I think people… — Tom Bennett Copy Share Image
A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Four Married Men are at a BAR. MAN 1 : Imagine, my pregnant wife was reading a novel called ONE BROWN GAL,… — Muniir Zero Copy Share Image
In all honesty I think, sometimes with the LGBT community, if you look at anything else surrounding it, there's always been this… — Radical Face Copy Share Image
And I ask myself what it is about me that makes this wonderful, beautiful woman return. Is it because I'm pathetic, helpless… — Mohsin Hamid Copy Share Image
I still have access to enough money to live on in order to avoid bankruptcy for at least a few years as… — Patrick Stump Copy Share Image
“By the by,” Stephen said, “what is the difference between a viscount and a stallion?” Miss Marshall shook her head. “What is… — Courtney Milan Copy Share Image
Cooking allows you to have travels, adventures and journeys without going anywhere. The running joke between my partner and me is that… — Ted Allen Copy Share Image
People have a comic bent or an angularity to their thinking, and those are the people who make jokes. And it's usually… — Carl Reiner Copy Share Image
![“It's the nature of cable news that we [TV hosts] do a lot of clipping and quoting of other broadcasts and outlets, sometimes to make a narrative point, sometimes to make a political one, and sometimes just to make a joke.” quote by Chris Hayes](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/016/chris-hayes-2208_cable_it-s-the-nature-of-cable-news-that-we-tv_1499687.jpg)
