if you like the lovable sound of an asthma attack in your ear every time you tell a joke. — Kiera Cass Copy Share Image
Everything serious that he says is a joke and everything humorous that he says is dead serious. — Clarence Darrow Copy Share Image
I'm very much of the "make it dark, make it grim, make it tough", but then, for the love of God, tell… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
When I came back to America, I realized that world music is no joke, it really has a lot to it. — Zach Condon Copy Share Image
I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I have a great idea. Lets make a show and kill off all the main Characters.. The FOLLOWING — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Life Insurance: A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You start out wanting to change the world through language, and end up thinking it's enough to tell a few good jokes. — David Nicholls Copy Share Image
There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I want every idea I have to make me money. I want every post I write to have 10,000 Facebook likes. I… — James Altucher Copy Share Image
Well, let's just call them, uh, Mr. X and Mrs. Y. So anyway, Mr. X would say, 'Marge, if this doesn't get… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My husband jokes that I'll invite people over for dinner and he won't know who they are or where I met them.… — Carrie-Anne Moss Copy Share Image
Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Leo. Jason said, you're wierd. Yeah, you tell me that a lot. Leo grinned. But if you don't remember me, that means… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Chennai is one of the scariest crowds to face. Everyone looks so conservative, but once you crack the first joke, they are… — Vir Das Copy Share Image
Well, I am not always joking, sometimes I am serious. But some people always expect you to be funny. If you were… — Dom Irrera Copy Share Image
I never do a whole new set of new material. I do one new joke at a time, and I wedge it… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
I met the guy who started off the whole Babuji jokes. I removed my chappal the moment I saw him. But that… — Alok Nath Copy Share Image
Life compulsively dangled the possibility of life. Life, the dramatist on speed. Life, that couldn't stop with its foreshadows and ironies and… — Glen Duncan Copy Share Image
Woody Allen - nobody has been a better joke teller than him - and even in his great films, it's always coming… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
When I would work freelance in production in Chicago, there were a lot of times when I was working for cheap, bad… — Andy Richter Copy Share Image
Couldn't we end this interview with what I really want to say? That what the world really needs is a real feeling… — Marilyn Monroe Copy Share Image
