French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the grape treaders' sit-in. — Ronnie Corbett Copy Share Image
I drove my expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Who run the world girls, who run the girls boys, who fuck the girls boys boys :p — Horla Copy Share Image
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I can't stand people that don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Their so stupid... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't make a film if it can't be the film you want to make. It's a joke, and a sick joke, and… — David Lynch Copy Share Image
If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the colossal joke of the century. — Barry Humphries Copy Share Image
You: When I grow up Im gonna go to the moon. Me: Im afraid youre too late, NASA isnt sending the monkeys… — Bubbly Copy Share Image
I find myself being quite cynical - and I think we all kind of are - towards the idea that it's associated… — Thomas Powers Copy Share Image
You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's like when Jessica… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
It hurts when someone with whom you wanna talk ignores you,but it hurts worst when you ignore that person because they are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm a really stoic artist. I'm serious a lot of times. I can joke and play sometimes, but most of the time,… — LeCrae Copy Share Image
Depending on what my job requirement is, my techniques change. If something is incredibly difficult to connect to, and painful, then I… — Adrien Brody Copy Share Image
There used to be a cruel joke that said Brazil is the country of the future, and always will be; Obama is… — Charles Krauthammer Copy Share Image
Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Did I have a heart to be contented? Well, no, not particularly. I had a tendency to be discontented: ambitious, dissatisfied, fretful,… — Gretchen Rubin Copy Share Image
And there's so much extra material. I mean, I've certainly read as you asked about do I read reviews and stuff, like… — Nicholas Stoller Copy Share Image
I distrust Great Men... I believe in aristocracy, though... Its members are to be found in all nations and classes, and all… — E. M. Forster Copy Share Image
I laughed. Partly at the joke, partly at how Afghan humor never changed. Wars were waged, the Internet was invented, and a… — Khaled Hosseini Copy Share Image
I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“The answer to the question ‘How many children do you have?’ and the one to the question ‘How many children are you… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I remember the old joke, while women are deciding which schools the kids go to, where you're going to live, how the… — Debra Winger Copy Share Image
I remember talking to, 40 years ago, one of the leading people in the government who was involved in arms control, pressing… — Noam Chomsky Copy Share Image
