John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Let's not do something we'll regret later. Let's do it now!

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Don't touch me ... I don't know where I've been.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

It isn't he who laughs last, but he whose laugh lasts.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

The scar confirms the beauty, the beauty the scar.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

In a tissue paper jungle, the paper tiger is justly feared.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Always write your signature move in disappearing ink.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Peace through strength. Neutrinos through solid matter.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

I may be human scum, but damn it, I'm still scum.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

The world needs more heroes its soup is tasting a little thin.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

The problem with the Peter Principle is that it assumes somebody somewhere is competent in the first place.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

I stand behind my words. It's just hard to see me because they're so much bigger than I am.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

I know how twisters feel. I've touched down in trailer parks and wished I could do the same thing.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

If you want to read the fortune, you've got to break the cookie.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Is it that a lot of stuff looks like the Virgin Mary, or that the Virgin Mary looks like a lot of…

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Question authority. Ask authority if it's lost weight or been working out recently, because it's really looking great.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Not only is life too short, it has acne and looks geeky in gym clothes.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

It may be to die for, but is it to die and be risen again as one of the undead, doomed to…

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

They're called 'tats' and not 'toos' because it's cool to say 'I have a tat too,' but it isn't necessarily cool to…

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

To everyone else, I'm the happiest person in the world. But deep down inside, I'm really only the 12th happiest person in…

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

In the Photoshop of life, some of us need sharpening, some of us need resizing, and some of us need a whole…

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

From a Twitter post on why food is better than people: 'Bagels don't talk about you behind your back.' ... Since WHEN???

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Be levelheaded, that your head be not leveled.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Money is the poot of all evil.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

The joke isn't too soon, the tragedy is too late.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Man has become a tool of his tools? Man, what a tool.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

It's only a holy grail as long as you don't find it.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

You run away to join *another* circus.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Whatever happened to that moment called NOW?

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

“As if the right hand knew what the right hand was doing.”

— John Alejandro King aka The Covert Comic

I found God. Where do I turn him in?

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

A suicide bomber is a flash mob of one.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Whether it's SFW depends on your W.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

What you can't rise above, you may yet ooze under.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

I can't live, if living is without living without you.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

A stone trips you. A daisy reaches up and pulls you down.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

We're all divorced from reality; the only question is whether you're paying alimony or receiving it.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

Birds don't sing after a storm, they sing before the next one.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

The fact that toast always lands buttered side down would be a blessing if you kept your floor covered in marmalade.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

To not wear anything, and to wear nothing, are not the same.

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

If the criteria was whether it demanded a cash bribe, what data wouldn't be considered corrupted?

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic