I was one of those kids who liked a lot of attention. I was always the kid in class who'd be telling… — Lauren Worsham Copy Share Image
It's always been the same for me. I've always enjoyed acting, and I really love good actors; they're such unique characters. I… — Val Kilmer Copy Share Image
I started to make a joke that I had an imaginary friend underneath the let-out couch named Binky. I would never talk… — Keke Palmer Copy Share Image
I had really not been out of the United States much, except for Mexico. I thought, "Jesus Christ, this [Russia] is like… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Nigerians are everywhere. There's an old joke, particularly about the Ibos, that when you finally land on Mars, you're going to find… — Chris Abani Copy Share Image
One of the things that got me thinking during therapy is that they say that fear is only thoughts, and nothing will… — Lars von Trier Copy Share Image
According to a new report, since he's been governor, Chris Christie has spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Now,… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I must say, I am thrilled with my fan base. For some reason some of them are quite young, so they are… — Colin Farrell Copy Share Image
I try to write three jokes every morning, although I don't know what they are. I write them as fast as I… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
My role is almost a sight-gag. I have to be a woman to sing the lyrics "I am a man" to have… — Max von Essen Copy Share Image
Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know -… — Rue McClanahan Copy Share Image
I don't like working by a monitor. I stand right next to the camera, and I'm very performance-oriented. That really means everything… — Drew Barrymore Copy Share Image
I'm really going off of watching John Waters speak one time and I remember he just kind of talked and it was… — Kathleen Hanna Copy Share Image
There is a sensuousness to language, there's a pace to it. There's a deliciousness to it. I do have pleasure when I'm… — Jonathan Santlofer Copy Share Image
My general approach to writing fiction is that you try to have as few conceptual notions as possible and you just respond… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
Surfing is kind of a good metaphor for the rest of life. The extremely good stuff - chocolate and great sex and… — Jaimal Yogis Copy Share Image
I want people to just be paying attention even if they're not necessarily laughing at something, or if it takes them a… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I'm like a bumper car. When I did an infomercial I was fodder for every TV comedy show. I couldn't get a… — Cher Copy Share Image
On the Internet, Spencer Hall at Everyday Should Be Saturday is the best writer in the universe. He's very funny. They're jokes… — Drew Magary Copy Share Image
I've found great virtue in two-thirds of the way into the message; right before I'm really want to nail home a point,… — Max Lucado Copy Share Image
I've always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can't tell to an audience.… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I like to talk about very different topics. I like to jump around a lot because I don't want people to come… — Brad Williams Copy Share Image
When you're young and you first see the extent and depth of the world's hypocrisy, it's fun to go after it. But… — Harold Ramis Copy Share Image
They mustn't know my despair, I can't let them see the wounds which they have caused, I couldn't bear their sympathy and… — Anne Frank Copy Share Image
You know lots of criticism is written by characters who are very academic and think it is a sign you are worthless… — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
It's so funny that people think I actually ran for President. I am maybe the most un-political person you're ever going to… — Alice Cooper Copy Share Image
Perhaps there can be too much making of cups of tea, I thought, as I watched Miss Statham filling the heavy teapot.… — Barbara Pym Copy Share Image
Republican candidate George Pataki said his dogs would give him the best endorsement for becoming our next president. Until they hear Chris… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to… — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
In his recent book, When Brute Force Fails, UCLA's Kleiman argues that new strategies for targeting repeat offenders--including reforms to make probation… — David Von Drehle Copy Share Image
It's interesting, once I have convinced people that, yes, I have a sister with a mental disability, the retard jokes really dry… — Bonnie McFarlane Copy Share Image
For a short period of time, I was like, I have these jokes and if people get them, they get them. And… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about.… — Ben Domenech Copy Share Image
I don't know if you know you're funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I'm funny because people tell me I… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
I don't care if my opinion falls on the right or the left. I'm more of what I call a passionate centrist.… — Larry Wilmore Copy Share Image
A form of intellectual productiveness, therein lies its peculiar charm. Intellectual productiveness is one of the greatest joys - if not the… — Siegbert Tarrasch Copy Share Image
My friend Myron tells me, 'Last year on Mother's Day the whole family got together for a big dinner and afterward, when… — Joey Adams Copy Share Image
The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke.… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
“telling the jokes—was the setups. Why were that priest, that rabbi, and that minister walking down that street? Where were they headed?… — Donald E. Westlake Copy Share Image
“Okay, that one's pretty good," Fred acknowledged, after she'd told him a particularly filthy joke. "But have you heard the one about… — Bridget Zinn Copy Share Image
![“I had really not been out of the United States much, except for Mexico. I thought, "Jesus Christ, this [Russia] is like a whole new world." Instead of writing Michael Jackson one-glove jokes, all I had to do was go to these weird places and keep my eyes and ears open.” quote by P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/1cd/p-j-o-rourke-184_christ_i-had-really-not-been-out-of-the-united_1112120.png)
![“Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about. Donald Trump's rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn't joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to.” quote by Ben Domenech](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/738/ben-domenech-4128_comedy_few-years-ago-donald-trump-was-being-roa_2024225.jpg)
