I'm sure I spent more time in Texas than anybody else who had run for President recently. — William J. Clinton Copy Share Image
It is better to swallow words than to have to eat them later. — Franklin D. Roosevelt Copy Share Image
“Two kinds of people always lie about their ages: actresses and Latin American pitchers.” — Jess Walter Copy Share Image
It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog. — Alfred Kahn Copy Share Image
“He never did get right all the way again. And every once in a while he'd come down all bitey.” — Jonathan Maberry Copy Share Image
“Shut up, Arthur,' said my mother, and he zipped his mouth shut like an infuriating child. Ginger started to laugh. Not at… — Sarah Winman Copy Share Image
Golf's really fun in Japan because of the women caddies. ... I saw one guy start out playing alone with his caddie.… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Nothing is more characteristically juvenile than contempt for juvenility. . . youth's characteristic chronological snobbery. — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
The country has always been governed by a coalition but today it is governed by a so-called Grand Coalition which is a… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“You're dying to meet my needs. You can't look away from my luscious half-naked body. The minute I opened the door you… — Kylie Scott Copy Share Image
“Possession of the box conferred a kind of power on the wielder--which was that anyone, confronted with the hypnotic glass eye, would… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
The only thing that matters to me about my stories is that they're entertaining and they're funny. And I tend to get… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“It’s alright, Kitten,” Bones said. “He won’t shoot.” Tate lowered his gun, even as the sudden dizziness from blood-loss made me sway.… — Jeaniene Frost Copy Share Image
The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I have never heard enough classical music to be able to enjoy it; & the simple truth is, I detest it. Not… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
My character Milly in 'The Boy Who Could Fly' was a very strong part. There were dramatic moments, and there were humorous… — Lucy Deakins Copy Share Image
“I really am a little afraid, my dear,” hinted the cherub meekly, “that you are not enjoying yourself?” “On the contrary,” returned… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
In high school, when I first heard of entropy, I was attracted to it immediately. They said that in nature all systems… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I once met an RAF pilot who told me of what he called a "bird strike". This, rather unfairly in my view,… — Hugh Laurie Copy Share Image
