I drank so much beer that I feel like I can ejaculate a unicorn in full sprint. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl will bring you breakfast in bed. A lady will be your breakfast in bed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I wish my wife would blow me as much as she blows little things out of proportion. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
''SYMPATHY''... You can get from Anybody -- But...!! ''JEALOUSY''... You have to Earn it…!!!!!!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There are caregivers and there are caretakers, and yet the two words are not opposites. Why is this? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may Mack you tink you kan tpye reel Gode. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Had a virtual friend once. But all he did was tweeting all day. Also, his name was Virtual Friend. Man, what was… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If two people are arguing & one person says, You know what... Just sit back & enjoy. Trust me that argument is… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Told my mom, I can become the next Hitler if I drop out of school. She laughed hysterically for 2 hours. I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, The most slippery word in the human language -- used by knaves to seduce, by fools for comfort, and by most… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I love helping people getting what they want. Today I overheard a girl saying I'd die for spicy mc burger so I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, A woman who can be labelled intelligent when she sees through her husband -- she's understanding when she sees him through; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you recall childhood, you may remember that the kids who stuck straws and cigarettes up their noses back then seemed funnier… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton says she's the most qualified because she was married to a president for eight years. Now let me ask you,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
