The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds. — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail,… — Tommy Chong Copy Share Image
Sometimes you watch comedians and feel like they're jerking off in front of you, but they want you to see how big… — Jenny Slate Copy Share Image
I'm a very straightforward person. But that's fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times you're talking about everyone else. — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes. — Paul Rudd Copy Share Image
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I think humor is important for all of us, and a great comedian is a great treasure. — Leila Josefowicz Copy Share Image
A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny. — Bobby Darin Copy Share Image
Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire… — Patton Oswalt Copy Share Image
I paid attention to not being a comedian, and just concentrated on being who I was. That is what you have to… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
I have a hard time describing myself as a standup comedian because I don't feel like I'm doing stand up jokes more… — Patti Harrison Copy Share Image
Black comics, they only watch Black comedians. You're a comedian; you're not just a Black comedian. You're a comedian. I try to… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
I used to want to be a war photographer, and I used to want to be a ballerina and a comedian. I… — Cat Power Copy Share Image
I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off.… — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you've been forced to be this way, but it is… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Comedians don't have a monopoly on suffering. But creative people are sometimes fortunate enough to be able to incorporate their most traumatic… — Matt Lucas Copy Share Image
I like what a third man brings. A kind of oblique vision, seeing something in the material that you didn't know was… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
The first comedians I became fascinated with were the Marx brothers. I couldn't get enough of them. Later in life, I thought,… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
And as Craig Brown - he's an English humorist, not a comedian but he's just a writer and humorist - I'm quite… — Nick Lowe Copy Share Image
Most comedians want to be the architect of their own embarrassment. They have horrible self-esteem issues. I would rather push myself into… — Mike Myers Copy Share Image
I wanted to do the comic strip. I tried to get it syndicated, and I sent some examples to a syndication company,… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
If God had perceived that our greatest need was economic, he would have sent an economist. If he had perceived that our… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
As a comedian, Trump is comedy gold, and he almost makes my job too easy... the stuff that comes out of his… — Maysoon Zayid Copy Share Image
Sometimes I worry about things changing and people not liking me any more. As a comedian you do feel like you're walking… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine… — Colin Quinn Copy Share Image
I usually just say I'm a stand-up comedian, but I use looping machines to create ideas with my voice. — Reggie Watts Copy Share Image
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I was just never discouraged from doing something wacky like trying to be a comedian. — Kate McKinnon Copy Share Image
Comedian sort of enjoys the darkness because, essentially, he's a thug. He's just not a nice guy. — Jeffrey Dean Morgan Copy Share Image
Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable. — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
And I'm up while the dawn is breaking, even though my heart is aching. I should be drinking a toast to absent… — Elvis Costello Copy Share Image
Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Don't avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I get called all kinds of things - an investigative comedian, a comedian activist - I've lost track of what my job… — Mark Thomas Copy Share Image
For me personally, being a comedian is having funny ideas and saying them: it's not just saying them. I need the complete… — Frank Skinner Copy Share Image
To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying… — Don Rickles Copy Share Image
What makes a comedian has nothing to do with religion. Think of Red Skelton, Jimmy Durante, Jackie Gleason, who were all Catholics. — Buddy Hackett Copy Share Image
I was a stand-up comedian for 10 years, if you can believe it. And I gave it up at age 22. — Samm Levine Copy Share Image
Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
