I think you're a comedian as soon as you start. I don't think there's a moment where you become a full comic. — Ari Shaffir Copy Share Image
I've been a comedian for a long time so writing and performing is a big part of what I do. If anybody's… — Colton Dunn Copy Share Image
I am able to apply certain things to my craft that maybe other comedians don't, because I'm a devotee. — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
When comedians get successful, the fans that they have aren't the fans they would hang out with. I don't have that problem. — Chris Hardwick Copy Share Image
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.' — Susan Sarandon Copy Share Image
I'm a huge Lamb Chop freak because Shari Lewis was a Jewish comedian, and I have a giant Lamb Chop tattoo on… — Sarah Sherman Copy Share Image
Half of being a comedian is knowing how to pace a joke, how to say it, so someone else could be given… — Janelle James Copy Share Image
As a largely unsuccessful comedian, I've become someone that younger people sometimes find and ask for advice, which I'm happy to give,… — Chris Gethard Copy Share Image
I came from a very different sort of background and pedigree from the people who were on "The Daily Show". I was… — Aasif Mandvi Copy Share Image
As a guy comedian, your special is probably the closest thing to the excitement of a wedding day. It's your first one,… — Michael Che Copy Share Image
Becoming a performer, comedian - anything other than a teacher, really - seemed very far-fetched. So I kind of split off into… — Quinta Brunson Copy Share Image
If somebody said about me, 'I don't think his jokes are good, I don't think he's a good comedian,' I don't like… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
I don't really consider myself to be a comedian. I mean, it's not like I'm sitting around writing jokes or anything. I… — Amy Sedaris Copy Share Image
I can't stand tribute bands. It's nice, bless 'em, but it's not right. They can't capture the right spirit. You never see… — Dave Davies Copy Share Image
For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Before I even knew what stand up was, I tried to make people laugh at school because that was how I made… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Anecdote: In a controversial way, Comedian and actor Bill Cosby sought to teach his son the pain of being lied to. Convinced… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
There's all this evidence that we leave now of our life, especially if you're a comedian or an entertainer. I mean, I… — Moshe Kasher Copy Share Image
Anything to declare? the customs inspector said."Two pound of uncut heroin and a manual of pornographic art," Mark answered, looking about for… — Leon Uris Copy Share Image
I really wanted to, but I just didn't understand how people became comedians. I kind of thought it was something you were… — Tig Notaro Copy Share Image
When I was 13 I told my dad I'd rather kill myself than do an ordinary job. He vaguely muttered something about… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
I know that it's probably not a good idea for a comedian, especially a satirist, to support a public policy group or… — Al Franken Copy Share Image
Because they're probably long gone. Are you hurt?" Gabe asked with enough urgency that she realized he must have felt shiver in… — Cindy Gerard Copy Share Image
My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there. — Ron Richards Copy Share Image
I am a professional comedian, a published novelist, and a general wit for hire. — Dominic Holland Copy Share Image
I was always a visual comedian. That's why all the body stuff comes into play - as a performer, it has every… — Sarah Sherman Copy Share Image
Comedians... they're different from actors. There's more ego there. They create the whole thing, I guess, so they're more precious. — Sharon Horgan Copy Share Image
I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I… — Rodney Carrington Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I'm like one of those on-the-scene reporters. I will actually go and try to find disasters so I can… — Paul Provenza Copy Share Image
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking — George Carlin Copy Share Image
As a comedian and talk show host, Jon Stewart has been pretty funny. But as a pundit and player in our politics,… — Jamelle Bouie Copy Share Image
Basically, out of the sphere of what I do - being a comedian/writer, and out of the sphere of football, I am… — David Baddiel Copy Share Image
If you want to be a comedian, go out. Do a week in Des Moines, Iowa. Try to make those people laugh. — Nick Swardson Copy Share Image
Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
I’m a comedian who got into movies, so I don’t really think of myself as an actor. — Eddie Murphy Copy Share Image
Cinema was my passion and I am sure that if you are talented, nobody can sideline you because you are just a… — Salim Kumar Copy Share Image
Comedians don't get Oscars, so I gave up on that a long time ago. And I can't really speak about the Oscar-worthiness… — Steve Martin Copy Share Image
I wanted to be in Jim Carrey comedy movies before I met him. I wanted to be a comedian on Stage 19,… — Jenny McCarthy Copy Share Image
I've never worked out what the moral of Humpty Dumpty is. I can only think of: Don't sit on a wall, if… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
