Dumpsters Quote by Mitch Hedberg Download Open image “I had a paper route when I was a kid. I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses. Or two dumpsters.” — Mitch Hedberg ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.5 out of 5 (9 ratings) Copy quoteShare Dumpsters Funny House Humor Kids Paper Routes Two
I started off with a paper round when we were just about old enough to drive. I couldn't drive myself, so someone else would… — Paul Young Copy Share Image
As a kid, I think I rearranged the rooms of almost every house on the block. — Nate Berkus Copy Share Image
Growing up as a kid, the back of my house faced a little community airport about four or five miles from my house. — Bo Jackson Copy Share Image
We moved around a ton when I was a kid. I think we lived in 9 different houses before I was 15 - we… — Marisol Nichols Copy Share Image
I can't write on the road. I have to be home. I have to be around all those rusted tractors and dilapidated fences and… — John Fullbright Copy Share Image
When my dad was a traveling salesman we moved, I think, seven times before I was 14. There was no real home. Of course,… — Steve Doocy Copy Share Image
I needed to carve out my own place and find out what I was going to do — Rosanne Cash Copy Share Image
I didn't have any money. I used to try to take out people's trash and sweep the floor to make ends meet. — George Hill Copy Share Image
Two or three times a week, I drive by the houses of numbers 78-100 just to rub it in, — Paul Reiser Copy Share Image
I used to clean my brother and sister's rooms. And I would go to friends' houses and clean their rooms, too. — Marie Kondo Copy Share Image
I got old money, take a bath in hundreds. My way or the highway, and I see traffic coming. — Lil Wayne Copy Share Image
I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. So if somebody asks me what time it is, I… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Imagine if you were a drummer, and you accidentally picked up two magic wands instead of sticks. There you are, keeping the beat, the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I like wearing necklaces, because it lets me know when I'm upside down. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Soup Of The Day, man. It's time we make a decision. I need to know what Soup From Now On is. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him, if it's in… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm screwed. But… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
What's a sesame seed grow into? I don't know we never give them a chance, what the fuck is a sesame?! It's a street...… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt." — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I miss that time. The cities back then, just after the forests died, were full of wonders, and you'd stumble on them--these princes of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Putting a bomb in a dumpster or putting it with a timer by a race, it is not the kind of - similar to… — Richard Engel Copy Share Image
And we certainly don't have full conversations on cellphones. You know? Usually the reception is so bad, but it's only bad on your side.… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying "like" all the time… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
It's five o'clock in the morning. You've just pissed on a dumpster. It's Miller time. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: "You've just killed a small animal. It's time for a light beer." Why… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Jace: "I guess we better move the trash. We can start with the Dumpster," looking unenthusiastic. Clary: "You'd rather face a ravening horde of… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
Allow me to introduce myself. I am a traitor and an idiot. Also, my mother should have aborted me and left me in a… — Kathleen Parker Copy Share Image
We're all animals, that we all respond to the same stimuli. If you want to motivate somebody not to have premarital sex, or motivate… — Adam Carolla Copy Share Image
If you've never been in a dumpster coated with industrial waste while someone stabs you with a piece of sharpened rebar, then you probably… — S.G. Browne Copy Share Image
You see, even though back then Barack was a senator and a presidential candidate, to me, he was still the guy who'd picked me… — Michelle Obama Copy Share Image