Breakfast Quote by Jimmy Carr

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

— Jimmy Carr

There's things that I couldn't joke about but other people could.

— Jimmy Carr

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

— Jimmy Carr

My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

— Jimmy Carr

I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing.

— Jimmy Carr

“When I travel, I get lovesick. Well, they call it chlamydia.”

— Jimmy Carr

I don't see myself as offending people.

— Jimmy Carr

TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out…

— Jimmy Carr

Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.

— Jimmy Carr

More people are going out to comedy shows than they were before.

— Jimmy Carr

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.

— Jimmy Carr

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea... you never get that tea.

— Jimmy Carr