They say the people most affected by the credit crunch are pensioners - well, let go of the handbag then, Nanna. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
I had a survey done on my house. 8 out of 10 people said they really rather liked it — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
I love those people who do story-telling and who ramble on, but I don't do that, I tell jokes - the sort… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
But what's true about comedians is that we've all got a huge hole in our personality. In a room of 3,000 people,… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
It's so clear cut with a comedian - you have that reflex action, whereby you laugh or you don't. And so you… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
When people come over to my house for dinner, I always have a vegetarian option. They can make do, or they can… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
It is such a social thing, laughing. Two thousand people in a room laughing is such a great buzz and they tend… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I'd stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
I don't think young people should have bottoms, they're too young for that sort of thing. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
TV's not the same buzz. If someone tells you three million people watched the show last week, that's good but, when you walk out… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
