Aspirin Quote by Dave Attell Download Open image “Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.” — Dave Attell ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.3 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare Aspirin Funny Humor Life
I realize now that taking drugs was like taking an aspirin without having a headache. — Paul McCartney Copy Share Image
I now realize that taking drugs was like taking an aspirin without having a headache. — Paul McCartney Copy Share Image
If penicillin can cure those that are ill, Spanish sherry can bring the dead back to life. — Alexander Fleming Copy Share Image
If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy a Porsche. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '69." You see a guy with one arm, he's got a… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
I gotta quit smoking, doctor's orders, and the drinking, court orders. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had? — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Men are having sex with animals and we wonder why the animals attack us. And I'll tell you why: it's cuz of that one… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Why do they collect garbarge at 5am? Why? It's garbage. It's not going to go bad again. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
This one guy, the worst guy in the music. The Yanni man. You know Yanni? First of all, anyone who looks like a magician… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Pre-mature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
It's a horrible economy but I'm trying to do my part. I just bought a new shower curtain it has all the presidents on… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks. — John Barrymore Copy Share Image
We have had two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and now we have two headaches for every aspirin. — Fiorello H. La Guardia Copy Share Image
Professionalism in medicine has given us medial miracles for the affluent but hospitals that will charge $35 for aspirin. — Bill James Copy Share Image
“We are living in a cultural dark age of musical pollution. You put the radio on, and five minutes later you need an aspirin.” — Vangelis Copy Share Image
I'm sick and tired of black and white people of good intent giving aspirin to a society that is dying of a cancerous disease. — Ralph Abernathy Copy Share Image
I’ve tried that. I’ve tried aspirin, too. Rusty thinks I should smoke marijuana, and I did for a while, but it only makes me… — Truman Capote Copy Share Image
Nancy [Kassebaum] and I worked on a women's health agenda when I first came. Women were not included in the protocols at NIH, the… — Barbara Mikulski Copy Share Image
We are close to dead. There are faces and bodies like gorged maggots on the dance floor, on the highway, in the city, in… — Norman Mailer Copy Share Image
The pressure gets worse the older you get. The hole starts to look the size of a Bayer aspirin. — Gary Player Copy Share Image
You know, back in my days, they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn't that costly. — Foster Friess Copy Share Image
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