Funny Quote by Dave Attell Download Open image “I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.” — Dave Attell ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.5 out of 5 (7 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Humor Ifs Thinking Winning
Anything I do that's competitive, I try to win. That's the way I've always been, and I like to keep it that way no… — Patrick Beverley Copy Share Image
Whatever I do, I do it because I want to do it and because it's completely, 100% me. — Wiz Khalifa Copy Share Image
Do you like what you're doing/would you do it some more/or will you stop once and wonder what you're doing it for? — Nick Drake Copy Share Image
For me, the joy of doing it is doodling when I want to. But if I had to do it, I'd lose the joy. — Matthew Ashford Copy Share Image
I'm addicted to winning. The more you win, the more you want to win. — Larry Ellison Copy Share Image
If I'm going to do something, I do it spectacularly or I don't do it at all. — Al-Waleed bin Talal Copy Share Image
If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy a Porsche. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '69." You see a guy with one arm, he's got a… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
I gotta quit smoking, doctor's orders, and the drinking, court orders. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had? — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Men are having sex with animals and we wonder why the animals attack us. And I'll tell you why: it's cuz of that one… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Why do they collect garbarge at 5am? Why? It's garbage. It's not going to go bad again. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
This one guy, the worst guy in the music. The Yanni man. You know Yanni? First of all, anyone who looks like a magician… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Pre-mature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
It's a horrible economy but I'm trying to do my part. I just bought a new shower curtain it has all the presidents on… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
