Candle Quote by Dave Attell

“I'm very romantic when I masturbate. Sometimes I light a candle...then I try and shoot it out. It's like a carnival.” quote by Dave Attell — Download Open image

“I'm very romantic when I masturbate. Sometimes I light a candle...then I try and shoot it out. It's like a carnival.”

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Candle Carnivals Light Love Sometimes Trying Very romantic

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If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy a Porsche.

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You see a guy with one leg, he's got a story. "Land mine '69." You see a guy with one arm, he's got a…

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I gotta quit smoking, doctor's orders, and the drinking, court orders.

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You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?

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I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something.

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Men are having sex with animals and we wonder why the animals attack us. And I'll tell you why: it's cuz of that one…

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Jesse Joyce is a great writer.

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Why do they collect garbarge at 5am? Why? It's garbage. It's not going to go bad again.

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What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a…

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This one guy, the worst guy in the music. The Yanni man. You know Yanni? First of all, anyone who looks like a magician…

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Pre-mature ejaculation. Let's talk about it. Pre-mature ejaculation. That's a pretty fancy term for, Ooooooh Oh no. This has never happened before.

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It's a horrible economy but I'm trying to do my part. I just bought a new shower curtain it has all the presidents on…

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More Candle quotes

I'm a candle flame that sways in currents of air you can't see. You need to be the one who steadies me to burn.

Nadine Gordimer

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I still get nervous about singing. I drink tea with honey and lemon before every concert. And I need to have scented candles in…

Mary J. Blige

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The dream of coming back is becoming a reality. A lot of the uncertainty about the future has been cleared up. A lot of…

Paul Tagliabue

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Every wife ought to answer for her man. If the husband be engaged in a seditious club, or drinks mysterious healths, or be frugal…

Joseph Addison

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Miracles are like candles lit up until the sun rises, and then blown out. Therefore, I am amused when I hear sects and churches…

Henry Ward Beecher

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On Hanukkah, the first dark night, Light yourself a candle bright. I'll you, if you will me invite To dance within that gentle light.

Nick Gordon

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I try to be the clown and court jester and make people laugh. At the same time, you have people in the hospital who…

Richard Simmons

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Only by the candle, held in the skeleton hand of Poverty, can man read his own dark heart.

Edward Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton

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Traveling is all very well if you can get home at night. I would be willing to go around the world if I came…

Gladys Taber

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Go not to the temple to put flowers upon the feet of God, first fill your own house with the fragrance of love. Go…

Rabindranath Tagore

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So here I sit in the early candle-light of old age-I and my book-casting backward glances over out travel'd road.

Walt Whitman

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I was eating beans by candle light for a decade.

Eric Andre

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Candle Quote by Dave Attell

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