Their Tables Quotes by Stephen Colbert

More Quotes by Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert has 324 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!
• Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. What?s wrong with red, white and blue, USA Today? This rainbow…
• Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the…
• Nothing reassures parents more than surrounding their kids with the kind of guys who have a lot of weapons and nothing to…
• Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.
• If it's called the USA Today, why is all the news from yesterday?
• I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the 1981 Charleston…
• Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not the president.…
• First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society…
• If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.
• I must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How…
• Young girls are obsessed with having a thigh gap. I blame the impossible body standards set by Spongebob.

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