Somebody Thought Quotes by Billy Connolly

More Quotes by Billy Connolly

Billy Connolly has 78 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

• I can't believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
• I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
• Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got…
• When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be…
• So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
• All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a…
• What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out.…
• Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?
• I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just…
• I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.
• I’m actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white.
• Behind the proscenium arch, you can't always hear what people in the audience are saying.

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