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Show Quotes by Jerry Seinfeld
- I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they…
- All magic is 'Here’s a quarter, now it’s gone. You’re a jerk. Now it’s back. You’re an idiot. Show’s over.'
- Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather…
- Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.
- Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all…
- There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think,…
- We sold 'Seinfeld' all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in…
- There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.
- I do not know why anyone would host an awards show. No matter how unbelievably well you do at it, the only thing that can…
More Show Quotes
- One of my favorite things about 'Star Trek' wasn't just the overt banter but the humor in that show about the relationships… — J. J. Abrams
- Spare me the whispering, crowded room, the friends who come and gape and go, the ceremonious air of gloom - all, which… — Matthew Arnold
- As filmmakers, we can show where a person's mind goes, as opposed to theater, which is more to sit back and watch… — Darren Aronofsky
- In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more affection than she feels. — Jane Austen
- Show me your garden and I shall tell you what you are. — Alfred Austin
- Don't believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding, find out what you already… — Richard Bach
- I am convinced in my heart and in my mind that if the United States fails to stand with Israel, that is… — Michele Bachmann
- Every thing secret degenerates, even the administration of justice; nothing is safe that does not show how it can bear discussion and… — Lord Acton
- Show me a poorly uniformed troop and I'll show you a poorly uniformed leader. — Robert Baden-Powell
- I'd seen 'Interview with A Vampire' and saw Dracula movies growing up, but I never thought, 'I love vampires; I have to… — Alan Ball
- I am so spoiled. I cannot watch a show where it gets interrupted for ads. I have to TiVo it and skip… — Alan Ball
- As a writer, it's fun to create. And once you get into a long-running show with very established characters and a very… — Alan Ball