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Parenting Quotes by Joan Rivers
- My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
- My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?"…
- Your proudest moment is to watch your egg not just function, but to achieve on her own.
- And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage…
- I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
- My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It…
- Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be…
More Parenting Quotes
- The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. — Fred Astaire
- The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. — Richard Bach
- My parents were divorced when I was a young teenager, and I was raised by a single mother after that. So, I… — Michele Bachmann
- Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it. — Russell Baker
- Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them. — James A. Baldwin
- A mother who is really a mother is never free. — Honore de Balzac
- The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. — Honore de Balzac
- As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've… — Roseanne Barr
- I know how to do anything, I'm a mom. — Roseanne Barr
- Mothers - especially single mothers - are heroic in their efforts to raise our nation's children, but men must also take responsibility… — Evan Bayh
- There are obviously two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live. — James Truslow Adams
- To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. — Dave Barry