« All New Quotes · Andy Borowitz's Page
New Quotes by Andy Borowitz
- Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"
- Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.
- Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
More New Quotes
- Every day is a new opportunity for failure. — Nikhil Saluja
- The new always happens against the overwhelming odds of statistical laws and their probability, which for all practical, everyday purposes amounts to… — Hannah Arendt
- The Things That Make You Feel Bad, Are The Ones That Will Eventually Go Away, So, You Should Never Give Up Fighting,… — Ritu Ghatourey
- Every promise of the soul has innumerable fulfillments; each of its joys ripens into a new want. — Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Don't be afraid of change, because it is leading you to a new beginning. — Joyce Meyer
- I'm on this amazing new diet where the ladies I sleep with don't invite me to their birthday parties. — Nikhil Saluja
- The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been… — Albert Einstein
- There are times when a leader must move out ahead of the flock, go off in a new direction, confident that he… — Nelson Mandela