« All Long Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
Long Quotes by Jack Handey
- Eventually, I believe, everything evens out. Long ago an asteroid hit our planet and killed our dinosaurs. But in the future, maybe we'll go to…
- I remember how my Great Uncle Jerry would sit on the porch and whittle all day long. Once he whittled me a toy boat out…
- I wish there was a disease where you're afraid of clouds, because I think I could cure it. First, you sit the patient down and…
- Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
- People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world. What they don't understand is,…
- I'll be the first to admit that my idea of God is pretty different. I believe in a God with a long white beard, a…
- Why do there have to be rules for everything? It's gotten to the point that rules dominate just about every aspect of our lives. In…
More Long Quotes
- If we bang on the first date chances are our relationship is lasting about as long as my erection. — Nikhil Saluja
- I've known you long enough to know you try not to let your feelings show. Lately when I hold you near, I… — Superman
- Friendship is not only about sharing each and everything having long conversation, hanging out, its about having complete trust in each other… — Anurag Prakash Ray
- Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or… — Richard Armour
- I really enjoy being single again. I spent a lot of time in a relationship and the nearer we came to the… — Dido Armstrong
- I wanted to get back to my style of 20 years ago after a long period of exploring horror and fantasy themes. — Dario Argento
- Since long I've held silence a remedy for harm. — Aeschylus
- Still we live meanly like ants, though the fable tells us we were long ago changed into men. — Henry David Thoreau