Joke Quotes

1327 quotes by 1003 authors

I swear Relationships these days are a joke because people are always changing them like how we change our shoes,clothes,twitter,facebook. — Michael Myers Jr
If someone in a work environment says a racist joke, I'm the kind of person who says, 'I'm sorry, I don't find that funny, and… — David Schwimmer
The Awkward Moment When The Teacher Cracks A Joke In The Class And Nobody Laughs... — Pacifiersucker
My first job was selling doors, door to door. That's a tough job isn't it? Bing Bong; Hello, can I interest you in a- oh… — Bill Bailey
There's more evil in the charts than in an Al-Qaeda suggestion box. — Bill Bailey
If I like a guy, I think a good way to feel that out is to go on group dates with people that you're comfortable… — Victoria Justice
The Best Relationship Is When You Two Can Act Like Lovers And Best Friends. It's When You Have More Playful Moments Than Serious Moments. It's… — Pacifiersucker
I joke that my epitaph will be, 'No Oscars, but at least he had a game named after him.' — Kevin Bacon
Just because just because they took away my freedom and told me what to do they took away my God and told me what to… — Justice Ogali
The best advice he ever gave me was to keep it real, keep it simple. He was a big believer in not having to spell… — Andy Dick
Anything good and wise person can be made ludicrous by a person whose object in life is a joke! — AXLL_SBLNS
I'm not allowed to make a joke. It is a bit unfair how I'm treated. I thought it was a joke. I got calls and… — Andy Murray
My dad was nuts. He was a very entertaining man, the best story-teller, the best joke-teller, like a big kid. I realised I had a… — Gerard Butler
You need to have people to laugh and joke with you to share in it, and I love that, too — Uniique Styles Randxom
Thats a joke, I say thats a joke son. — Foghorn Leghorn
This summer time in England has been like a dreaded one-night stand... Not very hot, extremely wet and gone before you know it. — Ryan Swain
I haven't had sex in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin. — Ryan Swain
What I said about Pistons fans during halftime was a joke, nothing more. If I offended anyone, I'm sorry. Clearly, over the past 10 years,… — Jimmy Kimmel
There's nothing weird about playing a character called Alice. It's just that I played two characters in a row with my name. I used to… — Alice Eve
Flashing Lights In My Mind Going Back to The Time Playing Games in the Street Kicking Balls with My Feet Theres a Numb in my… — Zayn Malik

Who Wrote These Joke Quotes

1,003 authors contributed a total of 1,327 Joke Quotes, led by these top contributors: