« All I Hate Quotes · Jack Handey's Page
I Hate Quotes by Jack Handey
- If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater, because then people would sing about me and I could fly down…
- If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness.
- The land that had nourished him and had borne him fruit now turned against him and called him a fruit. Man, I hate land like…
- I hate it when people say somebody has a "speech impediment", even if he does, because it could hurt his feelings. So instead, I call…
- If you want to be the popular one at a party, here's a good thing to do: Go up to some people who are talking…
More I Hate Quotes
- I hate to look at the stuff I've written and consider what it means or why I do it. — J. J. Abrams
- I hate celebrities. I really hate them. — Billie Joe Armstrong
- I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender… — David Attenborough
- I hate to tell you this, but you will never actually go to a galaxy far, far away and encounter Darth Vader.… — Margaret Atwood
- I think I hate cynicism more than anything else. It's the curse of our age, and I want to avoid it at… — Paul Auster
- I hate cameras. They interfere, they're always in the way. I wish: if I could work with my eyes alone. — Richard Avedon
- I hate Stanley Clark, but I have to admit he's playing Jazz whether I like it or not. — Lester Bangs
- I hate fishing, and I can't imagine why anyone would want to hike when you can get in the car and drive. — Joseph Barbera